Intrigued
by Irrelevancy
Summary: Jane & Lisbon watch a group of teenagers argue with a mall vendor. OneShot. Random Drabble


**A/N: The first time I've written a fanfic for a drama**

**And naturally, it was of the Mentalist, my favorite so far in two years~**

**Just a random drabble I thought of when mom was telling me her life story -ahem again-**

**Midori is not an OC, but me...**

**Everyone here is based on someone from a book or a series**

**Well, except Marissa...**

**Happy readings~!  
**

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"Would you please stop looking so tense?" Patrick pleaded five minutes from Starbucks. Teresa, walking alongside him, gave him a bewildered glance.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the fact that you're in your cop mode," the consultant explained, promptly ignoring Lisbon's incredulous look. "You're looking out and giving anyone who might be doing something wrong your cop glare!"

"Cop glare?" Patrick nodded enthusiastically to this. Teresa rolled her eyes. "Look, how I act in public is my business. And I am not tense…!"

Patrick opened his mouth to retort, but his attention was diverged by loud shouting from a vendor in the center of the mall walkway. By the looks of the crimson ferrets atop the mauve covering over the top, it sold something related to what seemed to be Valentines Day. And what other item, besides the infamous chocolate, can be related to Valentine?

A group of kids, twelve or thirteen, stood cuddled in front of the cashier, arguing loudly with her. Patrick caught a few words here and there, _twenty bucks_, _cheat_,_ lying_. It was simple to figure the kids thought the vendor cheated them. The woman, mid-twenties, argued fiercely back, shoving back loose strands of brunette bangs, hazel eyes narrowed and furious. Patrick quickly noted her gaze was solely on the boy in the center, who seemed to be the one to accuse her.

"Oh no Jane," Teresa said, catching the consultant's point of interest. "You're not getting caught up in that. _I'm_ not getting caught up in that. No way."

Patrick only flashed her his infamous grin, then proceed to walk closer. With a disgruntled groan, Teresa followed quickly, coming to a stop by Patrick, who had his eyes on a girl with the group of children. It wasn't that she wasn't close to them or anything. On the contrary, she stood closely by her friends. But something about her excluded her from the group. Looks-wise, she seemed normal. A pretty tanned face, raven tresses pulled back in a ponytail, hands tucked in the pockets of a red sweatshirt which hung over a full frame and straight posture. About five foot four, she stood near the back of the group, behind another cobble of four or five girls. Next to her were two other girls, one blonde, one brunette. The blonde would turn occasionally to her, sharing a joke. But otherwise, the girl seemed pretty left out. To Patrick's amusement though, she didn't seem to mind. She seemed to have anticipated this isolation; leading Patrick to thinking a good friend – perhaps the blonde – had dragged her here. But instead of a bored and awkward look, she seemed attentive to everything around her, eyes flitting back and forth between the boys in the front of the group. Then her dark eyes turned towards him, eyes meeting. Instead of looking away, the girl held the gaze for a few moments, then looked to Agent Lisbon besides him, then finally back to the boys at the front. Patrick now saw a tall boy, as tall as the girl perhaps, step up to who seemed to be the leader and said a few words. Closer now, Patrick was just able to hear it.

"Look man, it's just ten bucks. Let it go," he persuaded, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. He angrily shrugged it off.

"Ten buck's a big deal, Max! It's my lunch money for the week! She stole it!" he shouted angrily. Then all the boys and some of the girls started talking all at once. Patrick figured the boy's name was what they all seemed to be yelling at the same time: Ethan.

"Look you kids," the vendor cut in, contempt obvious on her pale features. "I stole nothing from you. You're the ones trying to steal from me. Now scram before I call the cops!"

"She… hates kids because she was robbed by a group of them once. High school students or immature graduates. So she goes to the gym everyday now to train as to prevent it from happening again," Patrick hypothesized. Lisbon sighed.

"Okay, so how do you know that? I know you're just dying to tell me."

Jane smiled again. "Well-" But he stopped when the girl in read started speaking. Teresa's attention seemed to be diverged as well.

"You're prejudiced against kids because some stole from you once. So now you take it out on us?" Despite her low tone and boyish voice, her voice still rang high and clears over the chatter. The vendor looks to her, surprise covering the malice.

"Whoa Midori…!" the blonde said, an amazed grin on her face. "How did you know that?"

"You know her or something?" a boy up front muttered. The girl – Midori – shook her head in response. Leaning towards the blonde but eyes on the vendor still, she pointed to somewhere by the cash register.

"Miss Marissa Deveroux here keeps a taser by the cash register, easily within grabbing distance, which suggests paranoia. Of what? Of the money besides that, one would assume. And on the counter behind her is a worn-out purple duffle bag with the Kim's Yoga emblem sewn on to it. But there seems to be weights inside the bag, not a yoga mat. So why would a woman who had done yoga for so long suddenly switch to weight-training? Easy. To defend something she couldn't in the past."

"…Precisely," Patrick confirmed, turning to Teresa with an intrigued smile decorating his lips. The agent was still in shock at how similar the girl sounded to Patrick when she explained the process, minus the haughty tone. Patrick made to go on, but Teresa quickly shushed him, interested in the conversation now.

"That's just a guess though," the same boy in the front argued. Midori only gave him a skeptical look, arching an eyebrow.

"Well Gabe, she's right there. Confirm it," she challenged, mockery heavy in her voice. Gabe turned around. It didn't take a genius to read the shock on Marissa Deveroux's face. And even if he couldn't, what she said next confirmed it.

"Smart brats," she spat. "Don't like the likes of you."

"Wow Middy," a girl, straight black hair and wearing glasses, grinned. "You got it right."

The blonde rolled her eyes and whispered to Midori, "Gee, I haven't noticed! What brought it on?" Midori tsked and whispered "Sofya…", but nevertheless had a bemused grin on her lips when she smacked the girl playfully on the hand. Turning back towards the other girl, she only offered a smile as response.

"She's good…" Teresa was surprised. She thought only Patrick Jane could speak like that and get on her nerves. "Almost…" she added coyly. "As good as you."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "As good as me? No one can be as good as me." He clutched his chest in mock-hurt.

"Yeah. No one's as good as you at annoying the hell out of me," Agent Lisbon retorted. Patrick grinned.

"Exactly. I should win a medal for that."

Teresa rolled her eyes, but kept quiet as the two resumed watching the group – but mostly the girl.

"You can't rip us off like that!" Ethan resumed to yelling. Soon the other boys joined in, and everything just turned into an inaudible blur of yelling and screaming. Marissa, furious, grabbed a woman with a young daughter walking past.

"Gracia! Listen to them!" she raged. "Kids these days! Trying to take advantage of adults!"

Obviously influenced, the mother looked at the kids with a frown, hand tightening considerably on her daughter's hand. The little girl didn't notice, however, and continued licking her ice cream cone without a care in the world. Now against two adults, Ethan and the other boys were considerably quieter, looking away from the reprimanding gaze of the mother. Annoyance flickered across Midori's face at this.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Hughes?" she jumped in, cutting off whatever Marissa was about to say. Gracia looked at her in amazement.

"How did you know my last name?" She was astonished. But rather than amusement there was weariness in her voice, still biased by Marissa's influence. The brunette smirked, happy at the slip-up. Midori, however, was unfazed.

"Oh, I do apologize for my imprudence." Her voice was practically dripping with honey, but subtly so the kiss-up wasn't obvious; a skill Patrick had often used in getting confessions out of women. "You may not remember me, but I am a student volunteer at your daughter's elementary school. I've seen you a couple of times chatting with the other mothers, and made a note of it."

As if to prove her point, the little girl in pigtails looked up from her cone. Spotting the familiar face of a helper, she yelped, "Midori!" Handing her cone to her mother, the girl ran forward and hugged Midori's knees; the highest point she could reach. She looked down and patted the little girl's head fondly.

"Hey Elicia," she greeted, bending down to her level. "Long time no see. How are things going at home? With daddy?"

Elicia beamed. "Daddy's home more often now! He said Uncle Roy finally turned in his paperwork and he could go early!"

"So suddenly?"

"Yup! 'Cause Ed's back! Ed's back, so Uncle Roy wants to go home quickly! So he finishes his work!" Elicia happily chattered.

"That's great!" Midori answered, appearing just as delighted as Elicia. "But sorry Elicia. I have to talk to your mom right now. I'll be done soon, and we can talk more, alright?" Then she looked up suddenly, a guilty look on her face. "Or would that be inconvenient, Mrs. Hughes…?"

"Huh? Um, o-oh no! Not at all!" Gracia was shocked at the fact that there was someone at Elicia's school whom her daughter trusted so much as to tell her the details of her home life. And she appeared so familiar with the names of Maes's work associates!

"I'm sorry about the distraction Mrs. Hughes," Midori apologized, standing up straight again. "And back to the topic. Did you know, criminal mind-wise, that most inexperienced perpetrators opt to have the crowd's side with him or her? Their sympathy? They choose they victims carefully, most of the time rowdy children who looks as if they're up to no good, or foreigners and tourists. After cheating the victim, the perp would catch the crowd's attention and choose a familiar face out at random, whom she had seem many times before, and is familiar with. Then by that one person the biased influence spreads and everyone would feel that way of the victims. At this point he'd feel awkward, and walk away, thus succeeding in the crime."

"Is that true?" Lisbon muttered.

"True, yes. But she's just sprouting it out at random," Patrick mused. "She doesn't really know this, but is giving her what appears to be a scientifically approved group of facts. And did you notice the change in her speech? She starts out vague, saying the perpetrator and him or her. But slowly and carefully she switches to her and him, subconsciously drawing the woman's focus onto the situation at hand, manipulating her into thinking about_ this_ case rather than the documented case. Quite simple actually. But amazingly brilliant in this situation…"

"Oh um… I didn't know that…" Both Patrick and Midori spotted the flicker of Gracia's doubtful gaze towards Marissa, and a small smile popped up on both their lips. She was succeeding.

"So the two sides are presented in front of you. One," Midori held up a finger, "is that Miss Deveroux is correct and the children here are rude and untrustworthy, trying to cheat an innocent woman. Or two… Miss Deveroux is lying and you are just being manipulated by her into taking her side." Her voice strengthened at this point, stressing the word "manipulate". Then her tone lightened suddenly. With a smile and a shrug she continued, "But of course, we could always just check the cameras. You don't have to take sides. It's a simple matter to walk away…"

Gracia looked uneasily from between the smiling girl and the scowling woman, tugging slightly on Elicia's hand.

"Elicia? Let's go, okay? Daddy would be home soon…" Then she walked away, tugging the little girl behind her. Elicia turned around with a smile on her sticky face, waving.

"Bye Midori! See you Monday!"

Midori smiled and waved back, then turned back to Marissa.

"So," she says softly, corners of the lips just slightly tilted up. The group behind them was silent now. "What would it be, Miss Deveroux? Like I said, there are always cameras. And we could always go extreme and call in forensics, checking the fingerprints on the bills in your cash register. The sentence for theft is, I believe, is either six months in jail or a few hundred in fine. Not pleasant nor affordable for you either way, I would imagine. Or we can just save all the trouble. You can return the ten dollars change to Ethan, and they'd all be happy…"

"…She really is detached from the group," Patrick commented. "When she was talking to Mrs. Hughes she said 'the children', and only in this threat she claims as 'we', then switches back to 'they' at the end. She doesn't really like the group… And these boys are obviously the school jocks, which would make one logically conclude Miss Midori here is not quite so high on social standings, but has connections high enough – probably that girl with the glasses – that she's here right now, hanging out with everybody."

"Fine!" Marissa shouted after a stare-down with Midori. Only at this point did the girl allow a triumphant grin spread across her face. The brunette stomped angrily back behind the counter and slammed a hand on the cash register. She pulls a ten out of the drawer and slams it onto the countertop. "Take your stupid money! And don't show your face here again!"

Ethan, considerably cool, took the bill from the top. In mocking motions he held it up to the light, checking for the watermark, making Marissa fume even more.

"Alright then," he breezed. "Let's go."

The crew followed in quick succession. But Midori pulled the girl with the glasses aside.

"Hey Emmy, I have to go. It's three."

"Emmy" nodded once, and muttered a quick goodbye before turning to follow the rest of the group. The blonde, Sofya, bid her friend goodbye as well, running a bit to catch up with Midori.

"That was awesome!" she exclaimed, good mood spilling onto the other girl. "I didn't know half that stuff!"

Midori laughed. "The law thing was just a buncha crap. Sprouted for the good of lying. The sentence though, I was pretty sure of. Petty theft penalty."

As the two girls chattered and laughed away, they passed the couple. For the briefest second, dark brown and blue met, knowledge evident in both.

"She knew I was studying her," Patrick noted. The look only served as confirmation to what he already knew. Teresa turned and stared at him with a skeptical look.

"Feeling challenged?" she teased.

"Nah, hardly. But give or take a couple of years and a dozen books on criminal psychology she'll get there. I somehow doubt she'll go for that though…"

"Oh?"

"Yup. She's not that kind of person. Unless she has to, she'll choose to rely on natural born talent to breeze by. Quite a gem, really. With a bit of polish, she'd be shining brighter than anyone."

"But…?"

"But, unfortunately, our little emerald hates the smell of polish," Patrick joked, standing straight from leaning against the wall. He started walking again, leaving Teresa to chase after him.

"Emerald?"

"Don't you know Midori means green in Japanese?"

The argument/friendly talk continued as the two slowly blended in with the Saturday shopping crew, voices drowned out by the continuous drone of everyone everywhere…

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**A/N: -sigh-**

**Yes I am well aware the ending sucked**

**I do most sincerely apologize**

**And about the criminal psychology part...**

**I'm not sure to whether that's true or not...**

**It just occured to me that it had a good chance of being true**

**So, tell me, if you happen to know the truth**

**Kudos to anyone who caught the FMA insert~**

**Who said a Mentalist fic can't contain a little RoyEd~?**

**And no, Maes is obviously not dead, thank you very much**

**And sorry, Sofya, for using your name**

**And I'm aware you might be a bit OOC**

**So sorry, if you find this...**

**Emmy too...**

**Because there's absolutely no chance they'll ever read this, I'll say it**

**Ethan was based on what I imagined Cesar to be like...**

**Max is Evan**

**and Gabe is Gabe Vedar**

**~.~**

**My brain is out of whack**

**SHUT DOWN**

**...review~?**

**:33  
**


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